Your Attitude is the Only thing fully under your control
- Jun 9
- 3 min read
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character." -Albert Einstein
Recall the last time you walked into a room and felt a shift of energy, maybe someone was already stressed, distracted, and not focused, shortly after the entire room followed the same example and the atmosphere followed. But on the contrary, someone who was energetic, open eyed, and ready to get sh*t done, and suddenly the atmosphere changes but for the better, and you find yourself sitting up a little straighter and being more focused.
Is that a random coincidence? It’s state, and beneath it is mental attitude.
Everyday we spend tons of energy trying to control the uncontrollable, manage our schedules, other people, and outcomes. However, the main determinant of everything, how we view and perceive everything, is our attitude, the ONE thing that is entirely ours to choose.
What is "state" and why does it matter?
State, can be defined as your immediate emotional and mental condition at the current moment, how you feel, whether you're ready to listen, respond, and engage thoughtfully.
You can be :
Pro-active: In zone, present, receptive, energetic
Reactive: Out of zone, distracted, flat, and unwilling
In a reactive state, we are not only unproductive. We actively resist opportunities and miss things that are directly in front of us. Compared to when we are in a pro-active state we are open, focused, and any event going on in the same room can become genuinely transformative and beneficial to us.
The body knows before the mind does
Try this experiment to understand this in a real life example:
Hunch your shoulders and drop your head into your head with all the wrong posture you can; then, say “I feel amazing.” Notice how the words are feeling fabricated, hollow, and like an empty promise, your own body is not buying this or agreeing with it.
Now, be tall, pull your shoulders back, raise your chin and look into the horizon, confidently; and repeat “I feel amazing.” Suddenly it feels true and you start to feel what you are saying because your body believes it.
The link between posture, breathing, and self confidence is what decides your state. The Physical state and emotional state are not separate from one another, they are one intertwined system. Change how you hold yourself physically and you will begin to change how you hold yourself mentally.
Attitude shapes what comes to you
"When we create something, we always create it first in a thought form. If we are basically positive in attitude, expecting and envisioning pleasure, satisfaction and happiness, we will attract and create people, situations, and events which conform to our positive expectations."
- Shakti Gawain
Any and all success begins long before you start visible action. It starts with the standard you bring into the room, the story you tell yourself about yourself and what you are capable of doing, and the quality of your attention and focus that you bring.
A positive attitude does not mean you just pretend everything is fine. It is a deliberate effort towards understanding the current situation, accepting it, and then understanding what can be done, learned, or created under any circumstances.
Here’s the encouraging part: Everyone gets angry, loses focus, becomes frustrated, and feels stressed - emotions are not something you can reject, they are inherent human nature. The question is how long you spend in a reactive state rather than a pro-active state. Whatever the answer is today, it can be changed and developed, small step by small step.
Do not lose hope.
Three things you can use right now
Breathing: Have deep, intentional breathing, breathe fully with your entire body, through your nose to your stomach, breathe like a monarch who controls everything.
Posture: Stand large, stand strong, sit confidently, as if you already feel like you are confident and sure of yourself. As we learned before, your mental state is determined from your physical state.
Mental Reframing: Ask yourself a question, “What is one thing that I can take away from this experience” rather than just looking at it with disappointment or sadness.
There is no need to change your personality overnight, matter of fact it is better to have slow but stable change rather than fast but inconsistent change. You just have to be 1% better everyday, because after a while of being better everyday the positive impact will compound exponentially.
Fake it, until you make it.
-Inspired by Michael Giffords book
-VOH LEADERSHIP TEAM